Just Listen

OK, so tonight I was upset about something and decided to talk to a few friends about. One thing I noticed was that while I was explaining myself I kept getting comments like "Yeah, but..." or "Yeah, just remember..." which was fine because they were good comments and sound advice, but as I was walking back to my dorm something occurred to me.

When I'm telling you something that hurts me, or something that is really bothering me, I don't need your advice. In fact, that's the last thing I need. All I need is for you to listen to me without telling me how I should feel. You see, in that moment its not about right or wrong, its about how I feel and how I need for you to just listen.

Now before you think I'm pointing fingers at people for giving unwanted advice, I'll admit that I'm the worst. I cringe when I think of all the times people have come to me with a problem and I have turned around and preached to them. All they wanted was just to be heard.

I have no doubt that we do it out of good intentions, but I think we're getting it all backwards. The next time someone approaches me with a problem I need to be "slow to speak and quick to listen" and not the other way around. Then, after they've gotten it all of their chest, can I help them deal with the problem, but not before. Next time I need to just listen.

Keep it real,

Ben