OK, so my buddy Ryan told me an amusing anecdote about his job interview at Caterpillar. After 3 hours of preliminary testing they finally administered the drug test. Ryan and an attractive 30 something female employee entered the nearest restroom with a cup, a full bladder, and a mission.Apparently Ryan has never suffered from "stage fright" (the inability to urinate under pressure), but when he stepped into that stall he just couldn't do it. To make matters worse, the female employee asked him "Is everything okay?" and "Would it help if I ran the water?" to which Ryan replied "No thanks, I'm fine." Ladies, this only makes it worse.
Ryan recalls waiting a few more minutes and then having the urine being on the "tip of his urethra" when the impatient young employee said "Come on out and we'll get you some water."
The employee led him to a small room with a mini-fridge and handed him three 12 oz. water bottles instructing him to wait there. She of course forgot about him.
She didn't end up coming back for another 45 minutes and by that time Ryan's pint sized bladder was about ready to burst because he had drunk 36 fluid ounces of water in less than 5 minutes. When Ryan finally made it to the stall and got the cup in place there was what he would later recall as an "explosion of urine" that not only filled the cup but produced considerable backsplash soaking him as well as the stall walls and door. After cleaning up and flushing the toilet, Ryan Anderson walked out of the stall, promptly handed the cup to the employee and said, "Thanks a lot toots" as he exited the bathroom. Mission: Accomplished.
Later that day Ryan was notified that he would not be working for Caterpillar this summer.
Keep it real,
Ben
2 comments:
Poor Ryan...did they actually already tell him he wasn't going to be working there? And did he actually call her "toots"?
ha, well, you see, sometimes I embellish the stories a little, just to spice him up. Its mostly true, except for the soaking of clothing, referring to the employee as "toots" (which for those of you who don't know is an abbreviation of "tootsie") and as for the job at caterpillar, he hasn't heard back yet. I'm assuming he won't get the job though.
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